As I recall, I had my first drink when I was six years old. I sampled my grandfather's rum, back while living in Puerto Rico. Both my father and grandfathers depended heavily on alcohol, so I grew up thinking that drinking to the point of drunkenness was something grown ups did for fun, similar to going to the movies or out for a drive. Although unaware at the time, by age nine, I began developing a victim mentality. I felt entitled to hurt others, because people had hurt me first.

I started drinking at age 15. The first time I got drunk was with beer. I always felt that I could never fit in to any group at school, or in my family. I was adopted, and even though I never knew this until my thirties, I had always felt separate from my family. School was no different, I just couldn't fit into any group not even the band I was a part of.

I had been a disciple for about a year and a half and had hit a slump. I was going through a very emotional time and couldn't understand why I wasn't growing spiritually. As a matter of fact, I thought I was losing my mind. One day, my sister-in-law asked if I would be her CR partner (in those days, it was known as CD, chemical dependency). I said yes, and was I in for a surprise! I sat and listened to the teacher explain "what are the characteristics of an addict". I thought he was talking about me! Everything he said seemed like it was taken out of my life story.

My name is Barbara, I am twenty seven and recovering from drinking and abusing heroin. I began using back in high school with marijuana but quickly graduated to cocaine and metamphetamines. I always felt that I used to help myself relax but I was very wrong.