I've been a disciple now for almost nine years. I was baptized into the Dallas / Ft. Worth teen ministry at the age of 17. Prior to studying the Bible I smoked half a pack of cigarettes per day for three years. Thankfully, I was able to quit when I saw that smoking wasn't something that Jesus would do. Little did I know that my abstaining from cigarettes wasn't the same as recovery. When I was nineteen I gave into temptation and smoked half of a cigarette. What possible damage could half a cigarette do?

My life before CR was a mess. At the age of 11 or 12, I started drinking and using drugs. It started out with me just drinking. A couple of friends and I would stay out all night drinking. My mother used to get so upset with me. One day I decided to try some marijuana. Some friends and I got some marijuana and we smoked. At first I wasn't going to, but I was curious so I smoked with them. I said I would never use anything but marijuana.

My use began when I was about twelve years old. I began experimenting with marijuana and alcohol. At first I didn't like either one, but I wanted to fit in with other people. I remember the first time I really felt high, I got so paranoid and afraid. I was scared because I felt as if I wasn't going to be normal again. I felt like that the first few times, but after a while I began to get used to it, and began to like it.

I grew up the middle daughter of two prominent, religious parents. My Dad was also a severely deceitful but "functioning" alcoholic who came home from work most nights reeking of liquor, stuttering and tripping into the house. He seemed to manage to sober up enough in time to perform his deacon duties on Sunday. I told myself that this would never be me. Even still, my parents demanded excellent grades, excellent manners and absolute moral behavior. The way we looked to the world and to our respective "church folks" was paramount.