hmullan Nov 11 : 21:51
Having been a disciple for 21 years and in recovery for almost all of those years, I was now seeing myself being totally overcome with anger and rage.
Having been a disciple for 21 years and in recovery for almost all of those years, I was now seeing myself being totally overcome with anger and rage. "Losing my Religion" with my wife and children was becoming a daily event. I was constantly feeling a black cloud of rage and confusion hanging over me. I was reading and praying every day and never missing a service. What was it that God wanted me to see?
One day coming home from work I went into a book store to find a book on Church History. To get to the religion section, I had to walk past the self-help books. The name of this book caught my eye. How many times had my wife told me that I never wanted to open up and have deep talks. I bought this book instead of the one on Church History as I was hoping this could give me some answers.
The first few pages had me in tears as I could completely relate to what was being discussed. Having spent 21 years working with CR and continually practising Empathy - one of the eight traditions, I could tell that this book would not be a comfortable read.
It wasn't. There were times when I could only read a page or two and would then have to put it down as the pain was too much. However with each day I was gaining more insight into this rage and confusion that had dogged me for so long.
Having just finished it I can tell you that it is one of the most powerful books I have ever read. It deals with "Covert Depression" in men and I could clearly see that this is what was rearing its ugly head in my life right now. Terrence Real does a great job of clarifying so many issues around why men act the way they do.
I have been making great strides in my Total Recovery from my addictions. As a result of the book I decided to see a Christian therapist who has been pivotal in helping me truly know myself and rid myself of the anger and low self esteem.
I highly recommend this book to anyone but especially to any male addicts or their spouses.
One warning though! The language can be a little harsh at times as the author is detailling events and conversations occuring in real sessions.
However the benefits of reading the book far outweigh the occasional expletives.