The first time I used, I guess I was about 7 or 8yrs old. I was just stealing a sip of my mothers "soda" which she totally forbid because it was Seagram's VO. I remember it because I used to see it in the cabinet all the time. At first it used to burn my mouth, my brother and sister tried it once and didn't like it. I continued doing it whenever it was available. Some time later, I stole a cigarette from my mother and I would hide and try to smoke them, I couldn't really inhale so I just stopped doing it.

I am an addict. When asked what my drug of choice is, I tell people "I'm not picky". But alcohol, which is glamorized by the media, and with its legality and prevalence, has been my greatest temptation. I was clean and sober for six years and nine months, had started Chemical Recovery ministries in six churches and led that ministry for an entire geographic sector in the full time ministry. SO WHAT, BIG DEAL! Satan wasn't impressed or intimidated by my accomplishments. He bided his time and waited for me.

When I heard that CR was coming to Boston, I approached the leader and offered to help out, after all, most of my friends were addicts and I dabbled in drug's myself. He looked at me with a strange grin and informed me " this ministry is for you" and suggested I read "Some Sat In Darkness". I read it and decided to dig deeper but I didn't believe I was an addict until I wrote my journal. Then and even now I can't believe how obvious it was that I was a stone cold Junkie.

I used anything I could get my hands on, any way I could from 8 to 36 year's old and the level of perverse depravity I reached included theft and lying, unmentionable sexual perversity, insane act's of dangerous foolishness and violence ranging from threat's to attempted and accessory to murder and this to friend's and family as well as acquaintances and unknown people.

My life has changed drastically within these last 6 months. I was baptized March 21, 2003 and graduated from CR in the same month. I did a lot of damage before God pulled me out of my 'pit'. I hurt my family, my kids, my parents who have since passed away. They never got to see me clean. My sister Loly and Molly would worry about me day and night for twenty long years. My drugs of choice are crystal meth, marijuana, alcohol and cigarettes. I used all of these daily for twenty years. I had good jobs in the medical administrative field, however I lost them due to my addiction. I worked in bars so I could drink every day without raising suspicions. I could use and sell drugs there too. I was very valuable to Satan.

This wasn't enough for me, I needed more. I decided to go into business transporting marijuana across the border. I was arrested with 139lbs of marijuana and was sent to jail. My sisters visited me, put money on my books, and accepted my phone calls. They told mev "This time we are here to help you, but if it happens again, don't even call us!". After coming out I put myself into a rehab. I thought I was doing good, until I stopped going to meetings, never got myself a sponsor, and before I knew it, there I was, sitting at the bar drinking soda.