When I wasn't using, I felt dull and depressed.It wasn't until I stopped using and started to recover my life through Jesus Christ, that I began to have the heart of a child, without the actions of a child! The bible talks about changing and becoming like a child, to enter the kingdom of heaven.(Mt.18:1-3) It also says, that being humble as a child leads to greatness in the kingdom of heaven. (Mt.18:4)

What is the difference between putting childish ways behind me and becoming like a child? In the bible, there is no difference! It's part of the same process - maturing through humility. However, in my worldly thinking, it was about pride and immaturity! Using drugs and alcohol stunted my emotional growth! Here I was thinking that I was being an adult, when in reality I was being adulterated! My reasoning was being warped by what the world deemed adult ( Smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol, having immoral sex, watching porn, etc. ) Like kids who cuss & swear, to act mature - not realizing that cussing & swearing are not mature behaviors but quite the opposite - my acts of maturity, proved to be acts of immaturity! I now, need no stimulant to make me bust a gut laughing, other than some good old fashioned humor with friends or family. I guess I'm finally growing up. What do you think?