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They Never Got To See Me Clean

I did a lot of damage before God pulled me out of my 'pit'. I hurt my family, my kids, my parents who have since passed away.

StoriesMy life has changed drastically within these last 6 months. I was baptized March 21, 2003 and graduated from CR in the same month. I did a lot of damage before God pulled me out of my 'pit'. I hurt my family, my kids, my parents who have since passed away. They never got to see me clean. My sister Loly and Molly would worry about me day and night for twenty long years. My drugs of choice are crystal meth, marijuana, alcohol and cigarettes. I used all of these daily for twenty years. I had good jobs in the medical administrative field, however I lost them due to my addiction. I worked in bars so I could drink every day without raising suspicions. I could use and sell drugs there too. I was very valuable to Satan.

This wasn't enough for me, I needed more. I decided to go into business transporting marijuana across the border. I was arrested with 139lbs of marijuana and was sent to jail. My sisters visited me, put money on my books, and accepted my phone calls. They told mev "This time we are here to help you, but if it happens again, don't even call us!". After coming out I put myself into a rehab. I thought I was doing good, until I stopped going to meetings, never got myself a sponsor, and before I knew it, there I was, sitting at the bar drinking soda.

I stayed clean for one whole year. It didn't take long before I was using full-time again! I managaed to stay out of jail this time. My best friends were all drug dealers and I had lost all respect for myself and others around me. It had been seven years since the jail incident, but my addiction was as strong as ever. I couldn't function without my crystal filled pipe, my beer, a marijuana cigarette, and of course a pack of regular cigarettes to start the morning.

One day as I was sitting there I thought to myself that I didn't want to die a drug addict. I put myself in yet another rehab and thought "This is it, I'm going to stay clean forever". Well, Satan's lies were right there with me, telling me that I could recover on my own, and that I didn't need this rehab, I had put myself in there and I could take myself out again. I did.

I stayed clean for 70 days. I wound up right back to were I started, if not worse. One more year of abuse to my body, broken promises to my family. I couldn't take it anymore, I thought I'm going to die and I'm going to hell and I don't want to. GOD PLEASE HELP ME!. I was on my knees crying to God and he heard my cry. He heard my desperate pleas for help. My daughter picked me up one day and took me to my sister's house. My sister was been a disciple for over 5 years. She had many people praying for me, and it was almost as if I could feel it. I knew that something was happening to me that I couldn't explain.

I went there and told my sister, "I need help, please help me." And just like the prodigal son in Luke 15:11, they took me in and embraced me and took care of me and studied the Bible with me. I was then introduced to the Chemical Recovery ministry leaders from the South Bay region and before I knew it I was in the CR ministry. CR has taught me to let go of my past and let God be in control of my life. It has taught me to give all the honor and glory to Him because I couldn't do it without Him. I have a good job now, my family trusts me again and that's a big accomplishment for me. I live with my other sister, who is currently studying and will be baptized soon. I can sit still now and read DPI books all day. God put some awesome people in my life that truly care for me. I thank God every day for taking me out of that slimy pit, for forgiving me and calling me His daughter.

I have fallen in love with God, and cannot find the words to express my gratitude. I've only been six months in recovery, but it has been one blessing after another. My daughter and grandaughter are now living with me and thanks be to God, I will see my grandaughter Irene grow up. I pray that one day my son Eric will be with me also. My life is in God's hands and I love it. Jesus really does perform miricles, you have just read about mine.

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